Reality sucks sometimes. More than sometimes lately … but I’m being kind. I do know that reality can really gut punch you when you’re not expecting it. And, it hurts like hell. Trust me. Seems I’ve been in this place for a while now.
Creating your own reality sounds wonderful. And, quite frankly, works when you are committed and cognizant of creating it at every moment. But when you slip – and gracious have I slipped – it startles you into wondering if it really does work.
I remember when my daughter was auditioning for conservatories. I knew. I just knew she was going to the school she is about to move into in a couple of weeks. I saw her there. I saw me traveling to see her there. I saw her walking the halls and performing in their auditorium. I saw it all so clearly. I created that reality for her, for me, for our family. I know I did. I felt it. I embodied it.
When we needed a new car. I remember speaking with the dealer and I knew, just knew I was going to get the car I wanted, the car I dreamed of. I saw myself driving it. I saw it in my driveway. I created it. The dealer kept telling me that what I was looking for was a unicorn. I told him I was worth it and I knew that the unicorn would find me. And, it did.
I have other examples, but those are some of the big ones.
Creating, manifesting, making things happen seemed to come with ease. So why is it that when it comes to money and men I have a completely different sense of reality? What is it in my past that has skewed my present beliefs? What happened to my powers of manifesting? Where are my powers in creating my reality? A good and prosperous reality?
Is it worthiness or the feeling of being worthless? No, I feel worthy – of both! I know I am worthy of so much and money and men are part of all that. In fact, my daily intention is set on my worthiness to attract both money and men.
Mainly money, though. I would love to not worry about money. It touches all parts of our lives. It’s a constant throughout our day. And, therein lies the problem with living in my reality – I find myself worrying about money.
It may not be the full-blown, dramatic, falling on the bed clutching my chest, “Oh God what am I going to do?” worry. But it’s there.
You can’t create a reality you want by worrying about the thing you want to create. Creating your reality doesn’t work that way. You’re actually attracting negative energy around the one thing you are trying to bring about. Who or what wants to be around negative energy?
It’s not my intention to worry. I don’t wake up every day with thoughts of “how am I going to pay my bills or how will I feed my family,” but I know it is in the back of my head – all the damn time. If you are to create your reality then it means that you need to embody that reality completely. Know you have money. React as though you have money. Don’t worry how the bills will be paid for you know the money will come your way.
But the true reality of bills in front of you then negates that narrative. And, you realize that you don’t have enough to cover it all and the worry seeps in. Again.
You see, however, that creating your reality doesn’t make it void of responsibility. Just believing it will happen and waiting for it to magically appear, doesn’t work. And, perhaps that is where I began to go wrong. Because the other big items happened, like magic, doesn’t mean the bills will get paid that way too. It’s great to have the ease of auto-bill pay, but you still need to keep tabs that it is happening and when. I have to work at creating that reality I so desire. I have to work at creating wealth.
And, I know that. Intrinsically I know that. So, now I have to get to work creating the reality I want. To create financial wealth for me and my family.
Going back to budgeting and making sure the budget is tight and that I stick to it.
Planning meals and purchasing exactly what I need at the grocery store.
Keeping an eye on the auto-pay bills and ensuring they are coming out of the right account. (Don’t ask… that one got me big time!)
Making sure my resume is updated to take advantage of any new opportunity that may come my way – or any opportunity that I manifest! Because those have happened and I wasn’t prepared in the past.
It’s more than setting the intention to be open to infinite possibilities and opportunities – I have to work at finding them, discovering them, bringing them about. Creating them.
I was creating this part of my reality wrong.
So, it doesn’t suck as much as I believe it does. And, the gut punch is a wake-up call reminding me that I do have the power, I just have to use it differently in this situation.
You do create your own reality. But it is a learning process along the way.
So I will not allow money to be an “issue” because I know how to manifest it by going after it and creating the reality that I have more than enough financial wealth for me and my family.
Now, creating the right man is another story!