“You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek, therefore, not to find out Who You Are, seek to determine Who You Want to Be.”

~ Neal Donald Walsh

I was invited to an Authentic Leadership retreat this past weekend. I had so many other things to do, I really didn’t want to drive out an hour away and spend the day thinking of my to-do list at home. 

But, I went. 

And, boy, was I was very happy I did. 

And, so grateful to Deborah LeeAnn for inviting me. I truly learn so much from her.  She helps me grow. So, of course, this time with her and other friends would be wonderful.

Perhaps my reluctance to go was actually a reluctance to know more about myself and where I need to go.  Deborah has been helping me create a new vision/version of myself as I continue on this path of transformation. Who I want to be. 

I’ve been recreating myself for a while now. It can be exhausting if you allow it to be. Or it can be renewing. I choose the latter. For in reality we never stop learning, growing, recreating, expanding. Why would this weekend be any different?

We did a good many things in the day I was there. We made smudge sticks. Meditated outdoors. Were treated to delicious, healthy meals prepared by our hostess. 

And, the location! Have mercy! What a beautiful house on a lovely lake! So serene.

We accomplished so much in less than 6 hours.

Among our activities, there were two powerful sessions in our day. 

The first, a heart circle. We spoke about our strengths. We wrote down words, feelings, adjectives, expressions of who we are and who we wanted to be. We envisioned our future and what we wanted to create. What was around us, surrounding us, with us. The colors, the people, the smells. What were we doing? Who were we with? And, if that is our end result – our vision – is that truly what we want? 

Then we asked the question: What will it take to get me there? What do we need to ask ourselves, our god, our universe, our time to make it happen? 

Everything suddenly seemed so real and possible. I know what I want and who I want around me. It was me in that future. Happy. Fulfilled. Surrounded by those dearest to me. Doing what I know I can do. Hearing it. Experiencing it. Envisioning it. Seeing it in my mind’s eye and touching it, feeling it. 

It was so real. 

It made me weep. 

We wrote down our question – a question that will help us create ourselves – and took it outside. 

The second impactful session, for me, was a medicine walk –
a means of connecting to nature, but also a means of connecting to your own sources of guidance and support during life transitions. We allowed ourselves the freedom to walk outdoors while considering our question of creating our new selves. We allowed the wind to wrap us and the water to move us. The sun warmed us and allowed for free expression to the heavens.

And an hour went by in the blink of an eye.

I received my answer. So clearly. It was magical and dreamlike, yet so very real.

My path became so very real.

I’m not quite ready to share my question and new future creation with you yet, but it probably won’t surprise you when I do.

It’s who I want to be. A newly developed thought leader as I create myself anew.

It may have taken me a long time to get to this place, but it feels amazing.

I have determined who I want to be.

Carmen Garcia writes about stuff… life as a single mother, dating, weight loss, performing, and other random experiences. Sometimes it makes sense. Other times, not so much. You decide.

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