I find it fascinating that the topic of authenticity among women has been trending a lot more lately. It’s been a topic of conversation for a long while now, but it’s been everywhere I’ve looked these past weeks.
Guess it makes sense. Women seem like they have to be something else for everyone else that we forget who we really are. In business, in social settings, in life and in political circles these days.
HRC spoke about this in a Humans of New York Facebook post recently. She had to change her demeanor to protect herself when in law school. Women have learned from a young age they must be smart, but not too smart. Vocal, but not too vocal. And as a commenter mentioned, quiet, but not too quiet. Pretty, but not too pretty.
Where does it stop?
When we are authentic, standing up for ourselves, seeking what we desire, folks see us as bitches, or call us bossy. Doesn’t seem fair. When a man does the same, they are seen as strong.
Strong women are seen as villains, divas, princesses. Yet strength is what we have to have day in and day out. No matter the circumstances.
How do you walk this line?
I’m trying so hard to be authentic. I’ve talked about that before in my blog. Trying to find myself – my true self – through this journey. Shedding this outer layer of protection and exposing this inner layer of truth. But this is a daily lesson I’m finding hard to truly learn and become.
I found out a while ago that a dear one of mine was dealing with so much pain inflicted by another for far too long that I question who my dear one really was. It was hard to understand, hard to fathom, hard to accept. So strong on the outside – out of necessity (?) – but knowing what was happening on the inside was devastating to learn. Especially since we didn’t know to help after the fact.
Who was the authentic self? Where was such strength coming from to deal with so much pain? Why allow this to be the norm for so long and loose that authentic self? Why give yourself completely in such a way?
I look at that life as a gift. A lesson for living my life authentically. A reminder to never give so much of yourself, lose yourself, give your power away, hide yourself through life for others.
I am finding who I am.
At 75 pounds lost I am still finding me. My true voice. My true purpose. Finding enjoyment in each day. Matching my outer expression with inner experience. Being true to myself. Not hiding anymore.
Live each day authentically and all is well.