“Sometimes life knocks you on your ass…get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”
– Steve Maraboli
I’ve been rather absent minded lately. To be honest I’ve been thinking about my sister. Going through the motions of life. Got in to a rut of sorts with my diet – even after making a promise to make a meal plan.
These last couple of days have been about driving my kiddo to her musical performance, hanging around the theater, volunteering and then taking her out with her friends after. Coming home. Getting up and doing it again.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being in the theater. I truly enjoy watching my daughter having so much fun on stage and with her friends. It warms my heart.
I have a great time talking with the other parents. It’s fun making new friends. But, I realized that while the other parents are there when they need to be, I’m around the theater all the time.
Of course, I had to realize this in a very painful way.
While I was at the theater for the fifth show in a six show run, I decided not to watch the show again. I stayed out at the Will Call table at the entrance of the theater contemplating my life. I was basically alone sitting there – which was fine with me being the semi-introvert I am. A young tech kid came out taking a break and saw a spider and said I really needed to see it. So I got up.
And, I tripped.
|You should see the other guy!|
And, I went flying nose first in to the metal window frame. It hurt like hell! Blood everywhere.
So embarrassing. So painful.
Four hours in the ER really helps you to contemplate your life.
What I came up with is that I need to GET a life. Outside of my parents. Outside of my daughter. Outside of my siblings. I need my own life. It’s a recurring theme, I know. I’ve said this a few times already. But perhaps this tumble finally jarred something in me.
I went to my primary physician. I have a fractured nose. But everything else is wonderful.
As I mentioned before, my cholesterol is great, my blood sugar is great, my blood pressure is great. This surgery has helped me get healthier. I can enjoy my life. So what am I waiting for? The want is there, but the movement toward it is not. I feel the need to do something, but I remain stagnant.
I’m finally exercising. So I am going out and doing something for myself. That’s good. But there’s still something missing.
The other evening Isa rehearsed with her duet partner. I sat and chatted with his dad. The dad and I have become good friends too. He’s a very talented and creative person and he is constantly “doing” – writing songs, plays, ideas. Always creating and using his talents. He taught me a couple of chords on the ukulele. And, I realized how much I miss being creative. I miss singing. I miss theater.
He asked me to pen a song with him. And, while it scared me a bit, I believe it would be good to stretch myself. Start small in the creative sense. And, I love him for asking me to help.
So, perhaps life does need to knock you on your head sometimes before you realize what the next step needs to be. It had to knock the wind out of my sails to get me to this point. Why does the next step need to be any different?
I may bump in to things, but hey, at least I am walking in the right direction.
Love the black eye. And I know what you mean about needing to get a life of your own outside of your kids. With Maya leaving for college in two and a half weeks, I've been having similar thoughts myself lately.