“Hope and Realism are not mutually exclusive.”
If there is one thing that Tish taught us through her journey is to not wait for tomorrow. You want to do something – do it now!
My lovely Tish had so much hope that she would beat her cancer that she would say – “I can’t wait until we can take a family vacation.” “One day, when I get better, we will go skydiving.” “I really want my Harry Potter wand.”
Unfortunately, all those things on her bucket list remained on her bucket list. She waited to get better and that day didn’t come.
We didn’t help much. We didn’t want to diminish her hope and so, we didn’t act in a more realistic manner. We knew the truth. At least I knew the truth. My sister’s days were numbered. This cancer wasn’t one she would be able to beat. We had thought she had more time…but. We thought we were being good sisters. Instead, she continued to work, continued to take her days as she always had, made lunches, baked cakes, planted her garden, cooked dinner, walked the dogs, laundry – the day-to-day, mundane things we all do.
Tish was always my back-up with my daughter. Tish was where my daughter wanted to go in case anything ever happened to me. When Tish was diagnosed I knew I had to do something about my weight and health issues. Her cancer was my wake up call. Waiting to start a new diet tomorrow wasn’t going to work. This was realism knocking me over the head and telling me to do something – NOW!
Surgery came at just the right time for me. Do I wish I had had surgery earlier in my life? Sure. But, it came at the right time for me now. I began to get healthier. Diabetes in control. Hunger under control. Blood pressure under control. My sister’s cancer – not so much. And, still we kept feeding her hope.
Regret is a horrible feeling.
I heard this from other friends during a girl’s brunch recently. Family and friends have passed away and in each case they talked about how living was to be done now. Don’t wait to do things you want to do. Life is too short.
No more for us! I want to take my daughter to Mexico. We’re going. I want to take my daughter to the beach. We’re going. New York? You bet. I might have to sell a limb to pay to go to these places, but damned if I won’t try to make it happen.
No more tomorrow. Be happy and real now.
Tomorrow is not guaranteed. We have one life.
We can be hopeful about the future, but let’s be realistic and make today count.