“Sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows.”

For a few days I’ve been really wondering what led me to this decision. This surgery. This time.

I’ve been overweight for a while now and weight loss surgery has been around a while now, so why…now, now?

Of course, I have answers at the ready when someone asks. “To be healthier.” “To break from my addiction.” “To add a few years to my old-self.” “Want to like what I see in my reflection.”

And, those are all true. But they’re not all true at the same time. I know, confusing.

But do I really need a reason? Do I have to put words to my decision right now?

Seems like my reasons ebb and flow with each day. Each moment brings about a new reason why this decision, this surgery came at this time. Each day brings about new rewards for having made this decision too.  So, I guess it doesn’t really matter why.

It just is what it is.

Why question?

Why wonder?

Why answer?

I’m living my life right now with this surgery. My past is my past. And, no matter if the weight loss surgery would have been available to me through my insurance, I had won the lotto, or what ever means to have surgery in the past, the truth is, it’s happening now. In this moment.

My past doesn’t matter why. What matters is what’s happening now. Because…

It is what it is. Let’s move on.

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