“I Always Liked Whisky. I Always Will, and That’s Why I Never Drink It.”
Robert E. Lee

My vice isn’t whisky, but it is carbs. In any form: bread, cakes, cookies, cupcakes, donuts (oh give me an apple fritter), bagels, crackers, pretzels, pasta, rice, pizza dough!

Lordy-be! I love me some carbs.

It’s my biggest weakness.

On this journey, with my pouch, we are not allowed any carbs. I eat primarily protein. There is a process to add new foods each week as your pouch heals.  First it was liquid protein – shakes and the like. Then it was a combo of soft protein (tuna, tilapia) and supplemented by more protein shakes. Protein, Protein, Protein. I’m up to thin shaved deli meat and seafood now, but you get the picture.

When you eat, you must eat your protein first to make sure you consume it in it’s entirety before eating the other allowed foods (unsweetened applesauce, canned veggies, canned fruit in water or sugar free jello). I can also have avocado – my one good fat. In fact, avocados have become my Frank’s RedHot – I put that shit on everything.

This weekend I was with my sisters. We went to lunch yesterday on the Hill. Yep. Pasta galore! My baby sister, in from Colorado, wanted a “real” St. Louis Italian salad and pizza. The nice waiter brought out a basket of soft Italian bread. They had to hide it from me. It was like a drug. I wanted to grab some so badly.

I had seafood ceviche on a bed of avocados. It was tasty, but it wasn’t pizza or pasta con broccoli.

The next morning my baby sister came over with a huge box of donuts. An apple fritter was in it. Dear Lord! I’m not sure of all these tests. They kept the lid on the box and just grabbed little pieces to eat at a time. But I could smell the sugar.

I blame my baby sister for being the shit-disturber she has always been.

At this point in my journey I am allowed to have a serving of low-fiber crackers like Saltines or Ritz. I tried. I wanted more than the 5 crackers allowed in one serving. I could have eaten the entire sleeve. So I have come to the realization that just like Robert E. Lee and whisky, I may never really be able to eat carbs again.

Too much of a temptation.

It’s one of those “slider” foods that I have heard about on the Sleeve Boards on Facebook or online. It’s best to just stay away. I’m working so hard at eating well, I would hate that one bite of any type of bread may bring about a relapse of my addiction.

So perhaps my weakness is becoming my strength. I will have to have the strength of 10 women to avoid these slider foods and continue on my losing track.

It has definitely been my strength to get me past my weaknesses this weekend.

To paraphrase Robert E. Lee; I always liked carbs. I always will, and that’s why I’ll never eat it.

Please Lord, keep me strong!

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