Every parent made you finish your plate for dinner before you got up from the table to go play. Ours did. I also remember them saying we needed to finish whatever we served ourselves. And, of course when you’re hungry your eyes are always bigger than your stomach. I didn’t mind – I always cleaned my plate.
It’s so different now and it’s weird.
I just started my third week. It’s time for soft foods (soft baked fish, mashed potatoes, soft cheese, canned veggies and canned fruit).
So, I have a plate of food now. Nothing fancy. My first breakfast was a scrambled egg and a cheese stick. Dinner? Baked Tilapia and a 1/2 cup of canned green beans.
After drinking my meals for the last three weeks this was a welcomed change! I got to chew again.
But, trying to find my full point has become harder. I chewed my food 20 times as is recommended. I took 20 minutes to finish my meal, as is recommended. Before with the liquids I felt comfortable when I hiccuped or had a runny nose and I would stop eating. This time I didn’t feel anything. No cues or clues. And, I finished my plate. Was I full? I could continue eating.
Was it because I was actually eating food? I could see the food on the plate. This is my first real food in a couple of weeks. I couldn’t leave any behind.
A friend recommended cognitive behavioral therapy a few days ago and, while I thought I could wait for a while, I think it may be time. I want to be sure I know when to stop eating rather than to continue to finish my plate at every sitting.
Let’s face it – food is an addiction. I’m an addict. And, I need to know my triggers so I can avoid them. I can’t, after all, avoid food. It’s nourishment. But, I can learn to control how I eat and what goes on my plate. That’s what I am learning now. I just need to add some CBT to learn how to stop.
I have to learn how to remove my feelings from food. I need to learn to find satisfaction in other activities and areas in my life without food. This blog is helping to be sure. But there has to be other things outside of my head. Drawing? Gardening? Singing? Acting?
I’ll find it. I will. Slowly but surely.
But, everyone can use a little help. CBT may be the help I need. Now to find where to go. It will be hard work. I’m ready.
Down 25 pounds.